i'm so tired but i can't sleep....
...as usual. i'm tired of all the thoughts in my head. i'm tired of this phase. i'm tired of a lot of things i guess. that if i take the time to list and think about, i really will be up all night. but then, none of them are really currently relevant. i think it comes with this age. this in between phase. where you're supossed to figure out the rest of your life. i've had my life more figured out than most of my peers for a long time now. so why hasn't it gone the way i've wanted it to for the last 2 years? from full speed to baby steps filled with confusion and complication.
what the most accurate personality test i've come across says about me (while it may not seem relevant, believe me, it is):
"INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.
INFJs place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world. They put a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done, and constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives. On the other hand, INFJs operate within themselves on an intuitive basis which is entirely spontaneous. They know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand. They are usually right, and they usually know it. Consequently, INFJs put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions. This is something of a conflict between the inner and outer worlds.
INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. This is the sort of thing that other types may scorn and scoff at, and the INFJ themself does not really understand their intuition at a level which can be verbalized. Consequently, most INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand.
Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right. On the other hand, INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments. They have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. In deference to the Feeling aspect of their personalities, INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going. Conversely, they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families. They don't believe in compromising their ideals."
this is what the song i'm listening to rt now says, and that, really, is what's the most relevant rt now:
"You in the dark
You in the pain
You on the run
Living a hell
Living your ghost
Living your end
Never seem to get in the place that I belong
Don't wanna lose the time
Lose the time to come
Whatever you say it's alright
Whatever you do it's all good
Whatever you say it's alright
Silence is not the way.
You in the sea
On a decline
Breaking the waves
Watching the lights go down
Letting the cables sleep
Whatever you say it's alright
Whatever you do it's all good
Whatever you say it's alright..."
it's not what i want (add it to the list)
and i know, at least on some levels, i'm right....
what does that mean?
who the fuck knows....
what the most accurate personality test i've come across says about me (while it may not seem relevant, believe me, it is):
"INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.
INFJs place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world. They put a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done, and constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives. On the other hand, INFJs operate within themselves on an intuitive basis which is entirely spontaneous. They know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand. They are usually right, and they usually know it. Consequently, INFJs put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions. This is something of a conflict between the inner and outer worlds.
INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. This is the sort of thing that other types may scorn and scoff at, and the INFJ themself does not really understand their intuition at a level which can be verbalized. Consequently, most INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand.
Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right. On the other hand, INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments. They have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. In deference to the Feeling aspect of their personalities, INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going. Conversely, they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families. They don't believe in compromising their ideals."
this is what the song i'm listening to rt now says, and that, really, is what's the most relevant rt now:
"You in the dark
You in the pain
You on the run
Living a hell
Living your ghost
Living your end
Never seem to get in the place that I belong
Don't wanna lose the time
Lose the time to come
Whatever you say it's alright
Whatever you do it's all good
Whatever you say it's alright
Silence is not the way.
You in the sea
On a decline
Breaking the waves
Watching the lights go down
Letting the cables sleep
Whatever you say it's alright
Whatever you do it's all good
Whatever you say it's alright..."
it's not what i want (add it to the list)
and i know, at least on some levels, i'm right....
what does that mean?
who the fuck knows....
posted by ath at 3:01 AM
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