fucking exhausted
been meaning to write 4 different blogs over the past few days...it's been a while...
"mean to tell you all the things i been thinkin' deep inside my friend"
my thoughts are too all over the place tho from lack of sleep and overstimulation.
dave matthews was awesome. many beers, much dancing and singing along to great music peppered with the subplots we invented for the many colorful characters around us...ah i wonder where "slutty", "drunk girl", "pensive girl", "nice tits", "sheep head", and "rolling hard guy" are now....
2 more days...then i can breathe, for two whole weeks.
i'm determined to leave no loose ends behind me.
so i'm all tied up tying things up so i don't come back to fall through a net full of holes.
i'm still too tired and out of it to write anything coherent. so i'll lay in bed again tonight with my disjointed thoughts floating through my half-sleep-haze. where maybe i'll make some sense of them in my dreams. even if i don't remember in the morning....
"it's so subconcious
the way that i feel
too bad my subconcious life
is the more real...
i'm tossing and turning
between sleepless dreams
i'm poised on the edge of
what it all means
so i turn my back
and i spread my arms wide
and i let myself fall in
way deep inside
and i ain't in the best shape
that i've ever been in
but i know where i'm going
and it ain't where i've been"
reading about other peoples trips through Europe makes me miss Italy with a deep ache. That I think it is where I'll go in my dreams tonight. For a little while, when I was there and just after, I dreamt in Italian sometimes. I hit the earth hard when I came back...and for a while, nothing was as good as it was before. Luckily, that passed, but I still always miss it. I carry it around with me, this outline, of this piece of something I found, but that currently is missing. Hmm. That actually is a good way to describe how I feel about a lot of things. I know what I want, and what I need, what and where they are, they just aren't all with in my reach at the moment. The things I want for the present and the future hover in my line of vision, but blurred and illusive, like a mirrage....I guess I'll just have to keep walking.....which I think I'm finally learning to be ok with...I'm picking up a lot along the way.
"i just wanna put down all the pressures
and feel how i really feel
just show me a moment that is mine
it's beauty blinding and unsurpassed
make me forget every moment that went by
and left me so half-hearted
cuz i felt it so half-assed"
"mean to tell you all the things i been thinkin' deep inside my friend"
my thoughts are too all over the place tho from lack of sleep and overstimulation.
dave matthews was awesome. many beers, much dancing and singing along to great music peppered with the subplots we invented for the many colorful characters around us...ah i wonder where "slutty", "drunk girl", "pensive girl", "nice tits", "sheep head", and "rolling hard guy" are now....
2 more days...then i can breathe, for two whole weeks.
i'm determined to leave no loose ends behind me.
so i'm all tied up tying things up so i don't come back to fall through a net full of holes.
i'm still too tired and out of it to write anything coherent. so i'll lay in bed again tonight with my disjointed thoughts floating through my half-sleep-haze. where maybe i'll make some sense of them in my dreams. even if i don't remember in the morning....
"it's so subconcious
the way that i feel
too bad my subconcious life
is the more real...
i'm tossing and turning
between sleepless dreams
i'm poised on the edge of
what it all means
so i turn my back
and i spread my arms wide
and i let myself fall in
way deep inside
and i ain't in the best shape
that i've ever been in
but i know where i'm going
and it ain't where i've been"
reading about other peoples trips through Europe makes me miss Italy with a deep ache. That I think it is where I'll go in my dreams tonight. For a little while, when I was there and just after, I dreamt in Italian sometimes. I hit the earth hard when I came back...and for a while, nothing was as good as it was before. Luckily, that passed, but I still always miss it. I carry it around with me, this outline, of this piece of something I found, but that currently is missing. Hmm. That actually is a good way to describe how I feel about a lot of things. I know what I want, and what I need, what and where they are, they just aren't all with in my reach at the moment. The things I want for the present and the future hover in my line of vision, but blurred and illusive, like a mirrage....I guess I'll just have to keep walking.....which I think I'm finally learning to be ok with...I'm picking up a lot along the way.
"i just wanna put down all the pressures
and feel how i really feel
just show me a moment that is mine
it's beauty blinding and unsurpassed
make me forget every moment that went by
and left me so half-hearted
cuz i felt it so half-assed"
posted by ath at 9:07 PM
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