trying to remember

On my way back from the deli a little while ago, I did something I almost never do in the city anymore: I looked up. When my parents used to take me into the city for day trips as a kid, I couldn't look up enough. Even in the car, I'd press myself up against the window, straining my neck to see as far up as I could. Now, I sometimes forget that sense of magic and fascination that I felt about this city as a child. Running back and forth, usually lost in my own world or short on time or both, I forget the magic that made me know at the age of 10 that this was where I wanted to be, this was where I belonged. I don't think my parents realized how serious I was about this until it was time to apply for college. With the pull of the city and one of the top film schools in the country I knew that NYU was the college for me. The only college for me. The more brochures and campuses I looked at only solidified my feelings. None of them could compare. I didn't want a quad, or frat houses, or football games; I wanted my city. I was so sure of my decision that I only applied to one school. Just NYU, early decision. My parents were freaked out, and I had a pile of other applications on standby just in case. Waiting to hear back once my application was sent was one of the most nervewracking experiences. I received my acceptance letter a day before Christmas. It came in the big envelope, the good one. The mail came while I was still asleep, and my parents waited all of 10 minutes before they couldn't take it anymore and woke me up to open it. I still remember what I felt, sitting alone on my bed, holding that envelope, holding my dreams and my future, in my hands. That was one of the best days in my life. It was my first big dream that came true.

After living here for 5 and a half years, that magic, along with a ton of new dreams, are all still in my heart, I just get so wrapped up in the day to day bullshit sometimes that it takes something out of the ordinary to make me remember. Well, tonight, I looked up. It was nice outside, no jacket nice (at least for the half a block to the deli) and as I turned the corner on my way home, I looked up, half a stretch, half a breath, half a release, I stretched my neck and shoulders back and felt free for a moment. And in that moment, I saw something I almost never see. I saw a star in the city sky. Three of them actually. And that totally made my night. My whole day actually. It made me remember the magic. An great end to an otherwise long day.



"Cherish your vision and your dreams as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements."
-Napoleon Hill