Sugar, we're going down swinging
I think someone must have forgotten to mail me the full "ex-girlfriend handbook". I got the parts about feeling hurt, disappointed, angry and betrayed, but I must have missed the memo on acting like a psychotic bitch. My ex could write her own encyclopedia on the topic, and it seems she planned to start it by bombarding my cell phone with a variety of insulting button-pushing text messages in the middle of the night. I thought that a full month later she'd be done with the "I hate you and I want to let you know how much I hate you and hurt you even more if possible in the process", I thought by now she'd have worked that out of her system...silly me. I wonder if the girls who drag out the psychotic bitch phase realize that it only solidifies the other persons resolve and reminds them of why the relationship ended in the first place...silly her.
She must have missed the big memo, the most important one, the one about trying to move on. That one, I got. And when it first arrived, sure I ignored it, I wasn't ready to read it, because reading it meant I was letting go and I wasn't ready to start letting go. So it sat, unopened on my kitchen table for weeks, until I finally picked it up and flipped through it. It had some good things to say. It even acknowledged the fact that letting go is hard, and it has to be done at your own pace, but little by little, you do move on, and moving on is the only way to find peace and balance. I rather walk around with intermingled peace and sadness in my heart than hate, especially towards the first person I ever really loved. I hope she gets her copy soon.
Random confession: I secretly like bad pop music. I download it and listen to it on my ipod with guilty pleasure glee. The soundtrack of my life for this weekend comes from one of the current queens of pop music, and if you've turned on a radio at all in the past 6 months, you'll know where this comes from.
"But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you, now I get what I want
Since you been gone"
She must have missed the big memo, the most important one, the one about trying to move on. That one, I got. And when it first arrived, sure I ignored it, I wasn't ready to read it, because reading it meant I was letting go and I wasn't ready to start letting go. So it sat, unopened on my kitchen table for weeks, until I finally picked it up and flipped through it. It had some good things to say. It even acknowledged the fact that letting go is hard, and it has to be done at your own pace, but little by little, you do move on, and moving on is the only way to find peace and balance. I rather walk around with intermingled peace and sadness in my heart than hate, especially towards the first person I ever really loved. I hope she gets her copy soon.
Random confession: I secretly like bad pop music. I download it and listen to it on my ipod with guilty pleasure glee. The soundtrack of my life for this weekend comes from one of the current queens of pop music, and if you've turned on a radio at all in the past 6 months, you'll know where this comes from.
"But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you, now I get what I want
Since you been gone"
posted by ath at 12:23 PM
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