Fiction

Blowing off going out, with two different sets of people, to stay home, work on my web page, and write...as much as I'd like to see my old friend, I'd rather have some chill one on one catch up time than going out with the group, and (sorry Matty) I really just don't feel like going out tonight.

I need the catharsis of creating. I want to build characters, invent circumstances, test out ideas, start figuring out what works and what doesn't. I'll find my way through fiction. (semi-fiction?, my version of controlled reality?)

Being a filmmaker, or a storyteller of any kind, is, in some form, playing god. And in a way, so's editing. Sometimes I think it's funny that these are the two things I'm drawn to most. It's my inner control freak.

A little worried about someone I care for deeply (even tho I'm probably overreacting, being oversensitive as I tend to be when it comes to her, she has after all been my hero for as long as I can remember), and resenting my lack of control - I can't play god in reality. So tonight I'll find my way through fiction.