pieces of other conversations

From Annie's recent blog:

"T he very first time I watched the Oscars was in sixth grade. I was home sick with the flu.

Whoopi Goldberg concluded the show by saying, "And for that kid sitting at home saying, 'Someday one of those is gonna be mine.' Kid, you better believe it!"

My life was forever changed. Seriously. I made a decision that night that would affect the rest of my life.

I was twelve. I wanted to be a film director."

My response:

"I remember that show with Whoopi Goldberg, I too have watched the Oscars since I was a little kid, and when she said that, it gave me the chills - i may have even teared up....i've been working on my acceptance speech ever since. (although, I think I'd really like a spirit award...the indie kids are more my vibe...and who doesn't want to party with John Waters?)"

I still tear up any time someone makes one of those "don't give up your dreams, hang in there, they all said I couldn't do it and now I'm here, thanks for supporting me through the rough years mom" speeches. But I'm getting tired of waiting for my turn. Why can't I just be famous already? (and you know, have the respect of my peers and a feeling of personal success that isn't based on outside superficial factors like popularity and all that "important" shit). Ok. I may be being overly ambitious and presumptuous - but being anything else wouldn't be being me- and I'm already out of patience and feeling like I'm done "paying my dues". Seriously, I'm ready for someone to give me the budget I want to make the film(s) I want to make. I'm ready for people to seek me out for my editing skills instead of me trying to find the time to cut some free indie shit to build up my reel. I'm ready to answer the phone when the Weinstein bros. call. Like Annie, I've been planning, waiting and ready for this for most of my life. I've been working on my award acceptance speech since I was 10, and I'm ready to get up there and give it already.


Today's conversation with Rhiannon:

rhi: but first...
rhi: you have to write my about me thing
rhi: then edit my movie
rhi: and finish joy and jeremy's wedding
rhi: and that other one
rhi: and i'm sure there's other things too
me: i did finish joy and jeremy's wedding
rhi: i know
rhi: but it made the list longer
me: lol
me: thanks
me: you're awesome
rhi: people should pay $ to listen to our witty banter

If people were willing to pay money to listen to us Rhi, it'd mean that we were famous to some degree already. And then we wouldn't be bitching about wedding videos.

It goes beyond the fun (but yes, kind of petty) dreams of fame though. Right now, it just comes down to the fact that I'm getting tired of having to prove myself in ways that I feel I've already overcome. I'm tired of the repetition. I want a new challenge. I know what I'm capable of and I'm tired of chasing it down and convincing other people. I don't care that I'm only 24 and that I look even younger. My age is irrelevant.