and the world spins madly on
“Everything is everything
what will be is what will be
after winter must come spring
change it comes eventually”
As much as I love the city, and as much as I ultimately belong there, sometimes it’s really amazing to leave it for a bit. Sometimes I need to just get in my car and drive. Alone, flying down dark roads that I know like the back of my hand (ok, ok, not so much once I’m in WHB, but up until then….), Tegan and Sarah blasting….when I’m driving, I’m in control and I’m free.
The only thing better, is the beach at night…..Melis, I cheated on you, for the first time in years and went with out you…I know, I know….I’m sorry….I need it tho….and we never seem to be out here at the same time anymore. (remember that time in the middle of novemberish when we walked all the way to, and then across, the jetty? And didn’t anticipate that one wave, and walked all the way back to my car soaked and freezing and laughing our asses off?)
I fucking love the beach at night. “I walked along the edge of where the ocean meets the sand”, the water not as cold as I thought it’d be, soaking me up to my knees, and peacefully numbing me with each crash. Watching the moon float in and out of the clouds, I could have walked that shoreline forever, and I wanted to. I wanted to just keep walking, out of right now into the future. I haven’t felt simultaneously that alive and that at peace in a long time. Nothing compares to the ocean at night. Sitting in the sand, watching the sky melt into the ocean and the ocean into the sky, the waves tumbling to the shore, it’s beaututiful and chaotic and comforting and just awe inspiring, and it’s as close to any real, deep, pure faith I get.
Time moves slower out there somehow. Layed around the backyard all day yesterday, wandered back and forth across the grass, cigarette in one hand, phone in the other.
“It’s good to hear your voice”
“It’s good to hear yours too. You need to come back to new york”
“You need to come to California”
"So I can tell you what your birthday present is now"
"What?"
"You don't have plans on thursday do you?"
"Why what's thursday.....wait, you got tickets!?, OMG I fucking love you, that's the best birthday present ever!"
I have the best best friend ever.
Back in the city today, sleepy but wanting to be outside. Fuck putting all my stuff away til tonight. I think my rollerblades and i are gonna head to the w.s.h. for some more sun. I don't really want to think.
what will be is what will be
after winter must come spring
change it comes eventually”
As much as I love the city, and as much as I ultimately belong there, sometimes it’s really amazing to leave it for a bit. Sometimes I need to just get in my car and drive. Alone, flying down dark roads that I know like the back of my hand (ok, ok, not so much once I’m in WHB, but up until then….), Tegan and Sarah blasting….when I’m driving, I’m in control and I’m free.
The only thing better, is the beach at night…..Melis, I cheated on you, for the first time in years and went with out you…I know, I know….I’m sorry….I need it tho….and we never seem to be out here at the same time anymore. (remember that time in the middle of novemberish when we walked all the way to, and then across, the jetty? And didn’t anticipate that one wave, and walked all the way back to my car soaked and freezing and laughing our asses off?)
I fucking love the beach at night. “I walked along the edge of where the ocean meets the sand”, the water not as cold as I thought it’d be, soaking me up to my knees, and peacefully numbing me with each crash. Watching the moon float in and out of the clouds, I could have walked that shoreline forever, and I wanted to. I wanted to just keep walking, out of right now into the future. I haven’t felt simultaneously that alive and that at peace in a long time. Nothing compares to the ocean at night. Sitting in the sand, watching the sky melt into the ocean and the ocean into the sky, the waves tumbling to the shore, it’s beaututiful and chaotic and comforting and just awe inspiring, and it’s as close to any real, deep, pure faith I get.
Time moves slower out there somehow. Layed around the backyard all day yesterday, wandered back and forth across the grass, cigarette in one hand, phone in the other.
“It’s good to hear your voice”
“It’s good to hear yours too. You need to come back to new york”
“You need to come to California”
"So I can tell you what your birthday present is now"
"What?"
"You don't have plans on thursday do you?"
"Why what's thursday.....wait, you got tickets!?, OMG I fucking love you, that's the best birthday present ever!"
I have the best best friend ever.
Back in the city today, sleepy but wanting to be outside. Fuck putting all my stuff away til tonight. I think my rollerblades and i are gonna head to the w.s.h. for some more sun. I don't really want to think.
posted by ath at 12:52 PM
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