blog backlog

As I'm currently all distracted and would rather be drunk and doing other things than be at work (I really do love this job tho), I'm gonna catch up on qotd's, in no real order....

The most random pickup line I've heard/read this month:
"Let me spoil you dimples.....I want to spoil you like its christmas "


what i'd rather be doing:

Laurs: its noon. you know what that means...tanqueray time!
Me: lol, i love that you waitied til noon


Ah old film school nemisi (is that a word?):

Matt: oh manhattan [manhattan, was our nickname for a certian girl, with a certian walk and a certian attitude, and a very "old money" sounding last name]...i have a feeling she's gonna be popping up in random places for 
the rest of our lives

Me: i know, we'll be like 80 and she'll come wheeling down the street at us, 
it'll be full ciricle

Me: i wonder what happened to her little lesbian sidekick

Me: remember her?

Me: you could tell toward the end she resented manhattan

Matt: oh yah...she may have just been a guest star in manhattan's life tho

Me: i always accociated her with dawn weiner

Matt: lol

..................................................

Me: like how'd she get to assist on palindromes? that's so not fair

Matt: uhhh...bitch

Me: i hate when the obnoxious assholes do well

Me: i wonder what jodain and kenny are up to speaking of

Me: i don't remember their last names to google them tho

Matt: kenny that fucker

Me: ha

Me: remember when he told u to get off the table

Me: i was so waiting for you to hit him

Matt: ummmm...OF COURSE i remember that...its when my hatred began to brew

Me: your face did that thing where if u were a cartoon steam would've been coming out of your head

................................................................

Me: how did she get a script into their finals?

Me: her script fucking sucked in class

Matt: i know totally lol

Me: although the fact that she seems to not have actually done anything with it makes me happy

Matt: who the hell decided to write that article about her?

Me: : i was wondering the same thing

Matt: something's fishy

Me: ha, i just thought of the most vulgar comment in response to that

Me: : which actually suits her....
Matt: lol




costume tips for the hot, single and looking "dead" gay guy:
"we can place the rips over stratigic areas, ie pecs/abs
and then make them all bloody like
which perhaps will glisten nicely or something
sexy dead chic"





ok it's weird....

....that this is so similar to the one from the other day, and they come from two different places....

"Nineteenth-century English poet Dante Gabriel Rossetti wrote a series of sensual sonnets inspired by his relationship with his wife, Elizabeth. Before he could publish them, Elizabeth died. He was so distraught he placed the only copy of his manuscript in the grave with her. Years later, he decided the love poems were too good to consign forever to the oblivion of the dirt. He had the coffin disinterred and recovered his work. I suggest you draw inspiration from this story, Aries. Reclaim riches that you once abandoned or left for dead. Halloween costume suggestions: grave digger, archaeologist, miner, psychic medium who communes with the spirits of the departed."


...and that they both make sense.

ha, nice

"You might attempt to charge through the day with newfound excitement, but hidden chambers of your own subconscious are opening. You are being visited by old issues that you may have thought were resolved a long time ago. Remember, the unconscious mind does not understand our normal sense of linear time. Allow the thoughts from the past to resurface, for they can put you in touch with what is most important to you."

lock the tracks

ME: in fcp, what does general error mean when you're trying to export?
RHI: try again?
ME: ha yeah - restart...
ME: apparently it wanted to go to the desktop, not the external drive
RHI: silly you. trying to put it somewhere else
ME: i know right, just bc it worked yesterday, what made me think it would work today?
ME: god, final cut is like s.
RHI: you're absolutely right
RHI: i'm glad you understand that now
ME: hahaha
ME: too bad i can't just lock her tracks....
RHI: HAHAHA
RHI: omg
RHI: so funny
RHI: that IS the secret
ME: HAHAHA
ME: i know!

(for the non-fcp ppl out there, this is so amusing to us bc while using final cut, my favorite editing program EVER, to cut her movies, the solution to almost every stupid problem that came up was, locking the tracks...and yeah, this is still probably only amusing to the two of us....tech nerd losers and metaphor junkies that we are....)

cento

"Voi destra dove siete, dalla destra dove sono
In qualche luogo fra incerto e cento

E chi è di dire esso è errato
E chi è di dire che non è di destra
Dove dovremmo essere per ora
Così questo è dove siete e questo è dove sono
così questo sono dove siete e questo è dove sono stato"

it may not transate exactly right...but i like the way it sounds in italian

Drunk on the back of a bike….

…..is the only way to travel. So I had this whole pensive blog thing in my head when I walked in the door, but I think it got lost up there somewhere….i don’t blame it….it’s drowning with me in 2dollar beers and talk of turkey….

My brain spongy enough to let a friends advice sink in to some degree. They’re right, they’re almost always right. Clinging onto the back of a bike swerving through blurred traffic, my peripheral vision blocked but I’m not steering so I don’t care, as long as I don’t fall off….just letting everything sink.

The advice: potential. Everyone has potential. It’s what they do with it that matters. Examples from each of our pasts ensued. And of course as I type this THAT song plays. Speaking of ghosts from the past…to some degree I guess the past is never really done with you and that’s probably for the better…you need your past to learn from. I sure as hell have…and I haven’t had any regrets since January. I plan on keeping it that way.

They’re always right. But then we’re all always better at giving advice than taking it, aren’t we. Isn’t that just the way it goes?

I realized today I never wrote any kind of editing=life analogy. I’m surprised I haven’t. there are tons of comparisons to be made. So much about cutting is where things fall. Timing. So much is in the timing. You can have a great scene, with great performances, the one you rented that expensive crane for to get the tracking shot, the one you went overtime that day to finish covering, the one you labored over writing in the first place…but then…when everything starts to come together, all the other pieces start coming into play…well, that scene just may not play right anymore. And so it has to move or it has to go. The timing just isn’t right, and while it may not fit where it was, it could work somewhere else, later on in the film maybe…but first you have to let go of it working where it is, be willing to hit the x key (my avid shortcut for cutting), and see if maybe it’ll fall into place and work better at some other point. Find something to take it’s place or fit what’s there together. There are endless options. Editing and life are like puzzles. I guess I’m lucky I like putting things together.

blog #1

blog #2 possibly to follow....



ME: i'm drunk and on the phone with my mom, and
RHI: people shouldn't be on the phone with their mom when their drunk
ME: lol....tell me about it....
ME: i so need to get off the phone...now my dad is one....
ME: nooooooo
RHI: tell them you have to go
ME: ahhhhh
RHI: hang up like your phone died or something
ME: HA, i almost just laughed out loud, which would've been bad...
ME: i can't do that to my parents
RHI: i kno
ME:omg now we're talking about thanksgiving....i don't give a shit rt now.....
RHI: HA
RHI: that's 6 weeks away
ME:: help
ME:i'm drunk
ME: fuck turkey
ME: fuck it
ME: it's hard to pretend to not be drunk
ME: esp when you're still drinking....
RHI: lol
ME: "free at last, thankgod almighty, free at last"
RHI: :D
.......................

RHI: you're typing like a LI-er or a brit. not sure which
ME: ll
ME: drunk
ME: and my fingers are cold
RHI: but you were only leaving out the Hs
RHI: ey
ME: lol
ME: that's funny
RHI: and
RHI: ang
RHI: out
ME: haha
ME: oo, i got them that time
ME: the h's
ME: i rock
RHI: heehee

recharge

At long last I've had the day I've needed to have for too long now. I was on the brink of losing my sanity if I didn't get some solid alone time in, and today, for the first time in weeks, I actually had time to schedule myself back into my own life. Thank god. No alarm clocks, nowhere to be, no plan, nothing to do. Free time is a concept I was beginning to lose the meaning of.

Pointedly ignored the projects stacking up around me and layered up to head to the park so I could lose some layers. Lost myself in the one thing I SHOULD be losing myself in, my everlasting script. Which seems to be getting the attention it deserves about once a month these days...so not good enough. Need to rectify this and today was a small step in that direction. Not only do I want a first draft done already, working on it is cathartic and energizing. Baby steps are better than no steps at all....

Checkmate

Plan each move 3 steps ahead, always looking to the future, trying to figure out the best action to take in the immediate present to get to the square I want to end up on. Find a way to keep the important pieces protected while deciding which pieces I can afford to risk, to sacrifice for the greater good.

I wonder if this is always the best way to approach things…some things, yes, but everything? I don’t know. I didn’t even realize the extent I do this to until today. It’s interesting.

It’s also interesting what pieces I decide I don’t need in certain situations. What I deem important and what I don’t. I’d say that sometimes I still surprise myself but that’s not entirely true. I always have a reason, it all always makes sense and if it doesn’t I’ll figure it out until it does.

And as I grow and learn and grow some more, I’m becoming both more pragmatic and more idealistic at the same time. Somehow, this odd combination goes hand in hand. The more I accept reality and learn how to control my level of control of that reality, the more of a dreamer I’m free to be. If that makes any sense.

insert maniacal laughter here

One of the good things about this job is that there is often a lot of time to fuck around online while things are rendering/formating/capturing. The downside of this, is that I end up filling out stupid myspace bullitens and posting the ridiculous conversations i'm having, like this one:


RHI: ooooh
RHI: do it
RHI: that'd be AWESOME
ME: (insert maniacal laughter here)
ME: but....would that be good or bad?
ME: i mean, isn't that passive aggressive?
RHI: YES
RHI: totally
RHI: but fun no?
ME: i made a promise of sorts to myself to try to not be passive aggressive anymore, i had a bad habit with that
ME: and while it was fun for a while....it really got me nowhere
ME: so....i'm only allowed to be a little passive agresssive and not a lot
RHI: i think it should be allowed sometimes
ME: bc i'm just too good at it when i want to be
RHI: lol
RHI: HA
ME: it's true
ME: _____ (not m) and i were the mind game queens
ME: it was fun for a while, you know, until it was bad and destructive
ME: nope, new rules, no more

ok...needed to update the qotd

RHI: sexcookies
RHI: i like it
RHI: i think i'm gonna start using that phrase
ME:but what does it stand for?
ME:anatomy?
RHI: who cares
ME:sex?
ME:cookies?
ME:all of the above
RHI: mostly sex i think
ME:i like it as an adjective
RHI: maybe sex with cookies
ME:i'm in a sexcookie mood
RHI: ha
ME:cookies during sex would make lots of crumbs
RHI: sexcookielicious
RHI: HA
ME:maria spilled a thing of water on my bed during sex once
ME:that sucked when we were done
ME:we fought over who had to sleep on the wet side
RHI: figures
ME: i like the sexcookielious
ME:i like that a lot
RHI: that'd be a great name for a blog
RHI: moie
RHI: movie
RHI: song
RHI: it's a good title
ME: moie would be a good name for a movie i think
ME: or a character
ME: a kind of slow one
ME:"hi....i'm.....moie....."
ME:wow, there we go
ME:lost it for the day offically now
RHI: HA
RHI: yup
RHI: i think so
RHI: you really aren't cut out for this working past 5 shit
ME:i'm seconds away from running down the street shouting "gimme sex and cookies!!!!"
ME:ha, no, i'm not
RHI: omg
RHI: can you wait till i get there?
RHI: i need to shoot that
ME: hahaha

quote of the day backlog

From my going away party phase two (drunk AT the office, with almost the entire staff upstairs for beer and cupcakes) last Fri:

John (VP of former company): Cutting commercials huh? You know there are crazy hours in advertizing...
Me (Drunk soon to be ex-employee): Yeah well, they have crazy saleries to go with it so it's a step up.
Entire room: Oooohhhhh (as John slinks to the back of the room and shoves a cupcake in his mouth to look both busy and unavailable)
Cathy (exec producer): Haha, that's great that you said that...get a dig in for the rest of us while you're on you're way out...good thing Jeff wasn't up here tho (Pres. of former company).



Me: I'm a dumbass
Rhi: What now?
Me: I need one of those little chips in my head.
Rhi: Like Spike?
Me: haha, exactly
(only a few of you will appriciate this one...sorry....)


Me: I'm not gonna remember the title (of matts new blog if I don't set up my link to it now)
Annie: Matt Gets Lost
Annie: Court Forgets Brain
Annie: Aniie Needs Stories
Me: lol, you got one story
Me: one out of two isn't bad
Me: i'm not typing the other one out
Annie: lazy jk
Annie: one out of two isn't bad, better than none
Me: well, it'll just carry better not typed
Annie: yeah, i know those kinds of stories...

a few min pass

Me: wait...I think you know the other story already....
Me: court really did forget her brain.
Annie: for a second, i was like, why is she talking in third person
Me: i was referencing you
Annie: I know!

um yeah, nice to know we're all so high-functioning today


Annie: details we can discuss later - we will talk, analyze and disscet
Me: haha
Me: of course
Me: what we do best =)
Annie: you know it girl

Lost

Of course my favorite show on TV is one that’s filled with characters with hidden pasts, a plethora of complicated theories (Matt’s two favs involve collective unconscious and parallel universes), psychological warfare and mass confusion as to what the hell is actually going on.

To me, these factors make the show more of an allegory of life than any other show I’ve seen lately. And when life gets all complex on you, at least you can say to yourself “Hey, at least I’m not stuck on some unknown island with a bunch of creepy people that keep kidnapping my friends for as yet unknown reasons along with a variety of other strange phenomena”.

They’re all on this island trying to survive and simultaneously figure out what exactly is going on and really, isn’t that what we’re all doing too?



(I never did get around to writing about the craziness that was my weekend, my last few days, leaving one job, starting another, making movies, drama woven in between it all, as always….and yeah…that sums it up well enough for me. Read Rhi’s account of her conversation with Tak on her blog for a little amusing insight into a small part of what the weekend entailed)

night before my new job

"Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of you
And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change the less you feel

Believe, believe in me, and believe , believe!

That life can change, that you're not stuck in vain
We’re not the same, we're different.
Tonight, tonight, tonight
So bright
Tonight, tonight.

And you know you're never sure
But you're sure you could be right
If you held yourself up to the light

Believe, believe in me, and believe, believe. "

supermarket sweep

The perk I'll miss most about my current job (other than working with Matt and Annie), is my SmartFlex card. I love this card. It comes with a fresh balance every month that I can spend on any "health-related" items I want, for example anything at Duane Reade, or the co-pay for my eye doctor appointment last week. It's the best part of my insurance plan and it will no longer be valid as of my offical resignation tomorrow. So today, I called to see exactly how much I had left on it (i.e. to determine what kind of shopping spree I could have a Duane Reade after work today). $84. Not bad. It's harder than one would think to spend $84 at a drug store in one trip w/o buying any actual drugs...too bad I couldn't get a Valium perscripton or something this week...oh well...I need to get myself some doctor friends.

I've never been so excited to stock up on hand soap (I got 3 of them...who needs 3 hand soaps at once?), toothpaste, and cleaning supplies. It was tricky to reach the first $40, I thought it would go much quicker, but once I hit the "big money" items like motrin and tampons (sorry for the T word matty...just pretend you didn't see it..) it was all downhill. Landed at the regsiter with a grand total of $76 (after cigarettes) and just kept throwing packs of gum on the counter until the cashier looked like she was going to strangle me if I grabbed one more pack of Dentyne after she had already hit the total button a number of times...ended up $2 under my goal and that was close enough for me.

Now I have to go put it all away...

quote of the day

Matty, while mixing his special drink concoction for our little LOST party:

"I call this 'Saywers Semen', Coot you can call it 'Kate's Hot Wet Pussy'"

little by little...

….I’m knocking off the tedious time wasting things to make space for the worth it good ones. The Japanese project is now officially done (barring any unforeseen calamity that could occur while Tak is uploading the thing…but as it’s half way up right now, I’m hoping that after the next half an hour I’ll be home free). I don’t have to worry about fitting him in, or feeling the drain of working on a project that I’m not too fond of when there are so many other things I have/want to work on. I can delete the media from my poor overloaded drives, and I can go back to being friends with my friend instead of secretly resenting him a little and avoiding his calls.

Finally got music from the bride for the old wedding, which is now just a half a day away from being complete and sent on it’s merry way. Which means I can start (and rush through) the new one to get it done in the next few weeks.

Start training the new kid tomorrow and start the new job a week from tomorrow. Finally have the title I deserve, and the opportunity to build a reel that in time will get me the rate I deserve.

By November I’ll have some awesome HD narratives on my reel, and not long after that I’ll have the NTD doc. And hopefully, if some of my side projects work out, I’ll have the extra cash to spend a weekend somewhere outside of the city, preferably near the ocean (winter or not, the ocean always has the most amazing effect on me), allllll by myself. Away from everything that doesn’t fit into my backpack, for a weekend at least. Hopefully it will quell this feeling that I have lately of just wanting to run and hide…but I think that’s just because there’s a whole lot going on in a small span of time.

SF in Jan, and maybe, maybe, maybe far far away to my favorite place in the whole world (thus far) to culminate this first quarter of my life in the spring.

m.c.: sleep

despite the fact that i've been seriously fighting something off and feeling all icky and sick-like for the past few days, sleep and i are so not friends this week. i've been told that this has something to do with the controlling aspect of my personality, when i have a lot on my mind i can't let go of everything long enough to shut my head off and sleep. i need to ask my actual therapist about this (this is my dad's theory, and while he's a psychologist, he's not technically mine...or well, i guess he's actually been mine my whole life whether i wanted him to be or not....but he's not the objective person i pay to help me sort out all the craziness that happens in my head).

unlike last night, when i got up around the same time and spent 2hrs editing before finally laying down and passing out, i'm not feeling inspired to fire up my avid at the moment. i feel like going for a walk. but as it's 3am, and i'm still feeling a little sick, this is probably not a good idea.

in my non-sleep musings, i realized what i want for my 25th birthday...which yes, is like 7 months away....but in this case i'd need to plan ahead. i wonder if i can get my parents to actually give me the present i want and if i'll have the money to cover the rest.

tomorrow/today's horoscope:

"You may not be able to find comfort today, no matter how hard you try. The more you adapt to meet the demands of others, the more you want to break free from all requirements being placed upon you now. The most important thing is to keep breathing deeply. If you hold your breath, then you may also suppress your feelings. Keep your energy moving to best manage the current conflicts."

sounds promising....sigh....very appropriate for a tak day....i want to be done by 4...something tells me i'm setting myself for disappointment there....

i'm gonna get so drunk next friday to make up for this stupid project and the end of this job...fuck if i feel better i may even get drunk tomorrow night...