thursday is not quite friday...

Tak: man, of all the editors
Tak: i had to work with the one that never ever wants to see me lol
Me: lol, i like seeing u
Me: my life is just chaos
Tak: do you hate asians or do you hate guys or do you hate asian guys?
Tak: maybe its just me
Tak: lol
Me: no silly, u are my favorite asian guy, haha
Tak: i'm sure im the favorite asian guy
Tak: as well as the least favorite
Tak: and the middle lol
Me:lol
Tak: wait no
Tak: you know another asian
Me: no, iknow other asian guys
Tak: YES i beat ryan wong!!!
Me: haha
Me: um, oh and andy bouy
Tak: he doesnt count
Tak: im way too much cooler than him
Me: and kyoung
Me: and any other asian guy i know/knew at tisch
Tak: but he's more of a hispanic girl than an asian guy
Tak: hmmmmm
Me: and the asian half of aldous, lol
Tak: david park
Tak: so i half beat aldous
Me: well, he's only half asian
Me: not much u can do 'bout that
Tak: lol
Tak: i know
Tak: we all cant be cool like me
Me: lol

annnd part III

(b/c my friends are that amusing and outputting NM shows is that boring...)

me: wait, you had phone sex TWICE already today?
unnamed friend: yup. ah....mid-day masturbation
unnamed friend: and that canNOT go on your blog!

=)

(see____ no one will know it's you...in-cog-nito, ha)

quote of the day II

RHI: i don't know bout that but what you doing Friday after work?
Me: meeting with that crazy "edit my reel" guy you sent me even tho I don't want to, why?
Me: ooo, do u have a good excuse for me?
RHI: let's go buy vibrators
Me: HAHAHAHA
Me: i can't email him that....
RHI: ok fine we can come up with something else to tell him
RHI: but seriously...
RHI: vibrators?
Me: sure
RHI: ok. this is exciting. i've never bought one before
Me: i've bought dildos and strap ons, but i have yet to buy a vibrator
Me: maria broke the one we did have, which she bought by herself
RHI: oooh. we're both vibrator virgins!
Me:lol
RHI: well, buying them
Me: yeah, m and i def used that other one before the bitch broke it
RHI: HA

from the mouths of straight girls

"Behind every smart lesbian is a straight girl giving her advice"
-annie

and behind every smart straight girl is a lesbian giving her advice....hehe




Rhi: nice boobs too
me: haha
me: yes
me: this is why you're my honorary lesbian friend....
Rhi: hahaha
Rhi: i like boobs
Rhi: to look at more than anything else tho
me: lol
me: damn, now i have to update my quote of the day
Rhi: ha
Rhi: i was pretty sure a comment along those lines was coming
me: hehe
Rhi: i like penises and man muscles for touching
me: yeah, i'm not with ya there...
Rhi: i kno i kno
Rhi: but to each her own
Rhi: and at least i can appreciate a good rack

head first

is apparently the only way to go. feel like i've gone from 0 to 100 in 2 seconds....but that's ok. i think i work better that way. some quotes of the day:

RHI: how you?
ME: better than yesterday....but the day is young, ha
ME: nightquil was awesome tho
ME: i think today will be ok
ME: i feel very "accept the things u cannot change, change the things you can"
ME: today
RHI: good to have a positive outlook planned for the day
RHI: ha
ME: moved from mild depression to motovation
RHI: unhappy people anonymous
ME: lol
ME: we should start that
RHI: we'd make so much money
RHI: wait do they charge you to go to that?
RHI: probaly not
ME: our tag line: "moving from mild depression to motovation, aim that frustration somewhere useful"
ME: well, we'll charge
ME: we'll be filling the conference rooms at the sheraton in no time
RHI: heehee
RHI: if you can't beat 'em start a support group
ME: LOL
RHI: so i was im-ing ____ last night
RHI: that was AFTER i talked to you right?
RHI: did i mention it?
ME: it was after
ME: i was in my drug induced slumber
ME: (yay)


ME: i just spent like 15min trying to put the slipcover back on my umbrella....
ME: and then gave up
ME: and decided that it's a good thing i'm gay
ME: b/c i'd be useless with condom application
Annie: HAHHA


Compliment of the day:

Caroline: Do you surf?
Me: No, but I was tempted to learn while I was there.
Mary: You look like a surfer.
Caroline: You do.

Considering my new found crush on the surfer girl community, I highly appriciated this comment. =)

Confidence boost of the day:

(while discussing how much I can get away with charging this guy to edit his reel)

Jenn: You have to watch out for people fluffing their credits and not being able to back up what they say they are.
Me: Yeah, everybody does that...I do that to some degree.
Jenn: But you can back it up.

(thanks Jenn)

Last note of the day: The one good thing about being back from my tropical oblivion is hearing/feeling how missed I was while I was gone. Always feels good to feel loved.

ok...

...i admit it....i'm a little obsessed with the tan...BUT justifiably so considering how many times i've heard how hot it/i look upon my return...for the first time ever i'm mildly inclined to take some sort of nude photo spread or something, just to capture it in case it never happens again....(i'm almost never narcissistic...i promise i won't fall in...).

considering this minor obsession, you can understand how upset i am that it's starting to peel here and there despite the best efforts of me and the "ocean potion lotion" which played a large part in getting me this far, salvaging at least 4 burn situations that would have gone astray long before with out it (i partly blame the current peeling situation on the fact that i was trapped on, or waiting for, a plane for something like 15hrs, with all my liquid-like material trapped in my checked baggage far far away...hey i don't want to blow anything up, i just want my ocean potion), the lotion and i have been happily reunited, but there are some parts of your own body that you just can't really reach well....sigh....i need someone to come over and rub some lotion into those hard to reach places =p

i dare you

on a blogging roll these days it seems....

al: you're a talker. you can and will talk to anyone about anything.
me: it's funny that you know that about me b/c a lot of people would say the opposite.
al: it's true though. sure you'll sit and absorb and asses a bit at first - you are an observer, which is why you're able to talk to anyone about anything - but then you'll dive right in, no, you're really a talker.

after talking to different friends about different projects (and talking to Al about life in general) today and spending my morning in the park with some coffee working out some of the kinks in my feature (which due to some actual free time and head space, is no longer temporarily abandoned) i'm excited about using my brain this way again...it is an opportunity i haven't gotten enough of these days...although things are moving nicely for me to be able to change that....but that's another story....

i like having these conversations, i miss them and i need them....life, religion, politics, film....so anyone who can stimulate my imagination and push my mind gets a prize (which varies depending on who exactly you are, haha).

i dare you to challenge me.

it's 4am

I can’t sleep, even tho I was pretty damn tired a while ago. I’m debating going for a walk…or at least just going to sit on my stoop….but it’s 4am and it’s raining and that’s probably not the smartest idea. From weird dreams to thought processes that confuse me and I don’t feel like having, sleep isn’t working too well. Damn jet lag…if I wait 2 more hrs my body will think it’s time to sleep I think. Maybe now’s a good time to unpack…ha.

Right now, I just want to run away, back to the beach, say fuck it all and spend my days tanning in the water, selling sugar cane juice next to a waterfall and living in tropical oblivion. I guess I’d get bored eventually though…miss ordering in at 2am, miss the career I’m still trying to get off the ground all the way, miss my city and my friends (although most of them seem to be fans of this plan as well…getting some little shack on the beach and learning how to surf, race jet skiis, live off selling fruit to the tourists and like I told Rhi today, the more people in on the plan, the less of a shack it needs to be…we’ll be up to an oceanfront mansion in no time…).

This vacation solidified some of my larger dreams (goals actually, b/c for me the words are synonymous) of getting my house in Positano (my Amalfi coast town of choice at the moment) and having a beautiful ocean view to escape to. A little coastal town, where I’d keep my Italian fluent, learn how to make my own lemoncello, make friends in all the seaside restaurants and shops, and retreat to my house on the hill to watch the waves and drink lattes and write scripts and breathe….I wonder how many years it will take me to get there…10, 20, 30….

Mere hours back from this vacation, I’m already thinking about my next one…maybe a friend trip to somewhere warm sometime in December, visit Al in January….

At the moment I just want to say fuck it all and cut and run, but I don’t think I could take that plane ride again at the moment…I’m still wiped out from the last one.

cure for jet lag

1 part SHOWER
6 parts moz sticks
1 part salad
2 parts project runway
2 parts Weeds (which i'm glad has a newly recorded theme song, it's weird the things that hold memories sometimes)


still tired and missing the beach, but at least i don't feel like my head is about to float off anymore. only a few more things missing....

back boo

2 weeks
6 planes
5(?) time zones
3 islands
countless grains of sand, rays of sun, clear blue waves....

all good things must come to an end i guess. been gone so long i started to feel like my "real life" didn't exisit anymore. which was nice. and somehow lets me feel like i can build from a blank canvas.

currently tho...i'm so so out of it. my body is very confused (but very tan, hehe). making myself stay awake til 11 so i can sleep and reset myself overnight.

ah Maui

Last night in Maui….sigh…..This time tomorrow I’ll be boarding a plane for the longest flight EVER, back home. Been a week of lots of waves, lots of sun, one wardrobe malfunction performed by me and a particularly aggressive wave haha, 2 mountains, one volcano, waterfalls (both in the pool and in nature), some of the most amazing landscapes/coastlines I’ve ever seen, crater 96, alice cooper dj-ing on the radio, a rainforest, the road to Hana, cows in the middle of the road, a beach with more dick than I ever needed to see in a lifetime (so glad I’m gay…), suffers, hippies, the random naked thrice divorced liberal drifter who showed us Hitchcock’s head in the side of a small island, ugly naked dancing guy who became ugly naked dancing guy playing a guitar, sunburn, lots of after ocean lotion, apple bananas, Mary the (sorta homeless?) crazy Jesus girl we drove home (to her half built house of surfboards on 4 acres of land?) with the puppy, the juice girl (I think I want her life), Tye (his possible name) who can apparently “climb the trees like a monkey” to get the coconuts down and sell them next to a waterfall in the middle of the rainforest, water slides, jet skis (my new favorite mode of transportation, bounce-flying over the tops of the waves, spinning in 8’s, is an amazing fun release, I want one), bike rides, baby crabs in holes in the sand, Maui Mists (my new favorite drink, yum), Botero all over the lobby…awesome, straws in coconuts, sugar cane juice, the most amazing sunset I’ve ever seen in my life as we drove above the cloud cover….fucking surreal…




“Minds will wonder
to wonderous places
So why would you care
to get out of this place
you and me and all our friends
such a happy human race
Eat drink and be merry
For tomorrow we die”

just float

Drunk on waves and sun. Shifting the puzzle pieces of my life around in my head while my salt layered skin bakes, reddens, browns. Two more days til I'm on a plane back to my new york state of mind.

Kona

I love how each of the islands seem to have their own vibe. Where Honolulu was more commercially touristy, like a little vegas/new york dropped onto an island, Kona was like a secluded paradise. I like both. Our hotel was on the most picturesque beach I’ve ever seen. It was amazing. I saw more stars there than I’ve ever seen in my life. Fucking gorgeous.

I had a room all to myself which was nice after 4 days of sharing one with my parents (which was fun in it’s own way, like trips we used to take together when I was younger, but it was definitely time for some alone time after that). My balcony was clearly my favorite part of that hotel….

Falling asleep with the screen doors open, the ceiling fan sweeping the sea breeze around the room, the sound of the ocean right outside, lulling me to sleep, waking up and rolling over to see the clear blue waves….amazing….

We were on the dry part of the island, so everything was all open air….even the airport was mostly outdoors.

Everything on our side looked like a mirage. One side of the road was covered with dark black/brown lava rock (where people had placed white stones on top to spell out names and messages), the other side, the ocean side, was like a tropical oasis in the middle of the desert.

Best part of Kona: getting an outdoor massage at dusk, then showering off the oil in an outdoor shower, where the walls were built from granite colored slate and lava rock…so so cool….

Went to an active volcano at night where my dad and I climbed over the mounds of rippling, bumpy, cracked lava rock for over a mile, in the pitch black, armed only with flashlights (and the flashlights of the people around us, doing the same thing) following some random trial of little yellow markers to get to the part with the still flowing lava, and watch it glow a deep bright red/orange as it churned and spilled it’s way into the ocean. Very cool.

And of course, the fascinating, albeit long winded bonsai man.

Now we’re in Maui, (since yesterday) where Melis joined us (yay) and we proceeded to get sunburn…haha (I thought after a week of being under this sun, and having a pretty good tan, I’d be ok w/o sunblock…silly me…ouch….haha, oh well, ) Maui’s fucking awesome so far. Me piace vacation. =)

ALC

dedicated a blog to me. =)

click me

haha, that's awesome annie.

music is the soul of language

i love this balcony, and the fact that it's all mine, and the ocean directly below, in front, all around me, i could sit out here and listen to music and think and write all night....

"we negotiate with chaos for some sense of satisfaction" "you just gotta drive out of range" "leave my wings behind me, drink my worries down the drain, and fly away to somewhere new"

Reflections on my last night in Oahu

(posted from my amazing oceanfront balcony in Kona…which will get it’s own blog in a few days)

Sitting on the “back porch” of our hotel, which has become my favorite place here (next to the beach of course), in my spot, near the ash tray with a perfect view out across the lawn, through the palm trees, to the tiki torches glowing in the outdoor bar across the way. Amazing Hawaiian sun, coffee, smoking, ipod and notebook. Perfect.

Many political thoughts sprung from Pearl Harbor…that made me want to call Al and have a conversation about politics and war and the politics of war…many many many more thoughts that I wrote down on paper and will refrain from running off on a tangent with here….but will surely discuss with my politic savvy friends when I’m back.

The ocean is amazing. I could float in it forever. The soothing swell and crash of the waves, “I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now”. My little blue raft and I taking on the waves with the surfers (suffer girls are hot…wow).

Hiked to the top of Diamond Head for the most unbelievable view….the shit that only exists in postcards, but seeing it in real life…..the ocean folding out for eternity, layered in shades of blue, melting into the sky and the clouds…the volcano-made-mountains on the other side, with houses built into the hills, like Amalfi and Cinqueterra….

Luau against the ocean and night sky (hula girls are even hotter than suffer girls….I am hypnotized by those hips….damn….)

Wiped out from the sun, waves and alcohol…but in a good way. I don’t want this vacation to end.

vacation bitches!

I’ve only been in Hawaii for about 4 hours and I’m in love with it already. It’s fucking beautiful. Well worth the extensive travel time it took to get here (seriously, it took me less time to get to Italy, including customs. touching down in Honolulu a full 24 hrs after I left my apartment last night was much anticipated relief. Not the biggest fan of flying).

Punch drunk on jet lag and mai tais, walked along the beach right outside our hotel, with my feet in the clear warm blue pacific, feeling the freedom of being able to breathe for the first time in weeks. I’m tired but in that warm, full and drunk kind of way. (the fact that the clock says 7:15 and my body thinks it’s after 1am is also a contributor I’m sure….)

Quote of the day goes to my mom, about four sips into her mai tai:

“Pass me those peanuts? ….I’m drunk”

Coming up in the next few days: Luaus, Royale Pinapples, the Lost set if I can find it, driving through the rainforest on Island #2 of the trip, and as much beach time as possible. Then Melis gets here on the 18th, for the hotel with the kickass pool and the island with the gay beach…

It’s so great to be on vacation and leaving the chaos of my life behind for a bit.

wow

"ARIES (March 21–April 19): In 1986, an accident at the Chernobyl power plant in Ukraine caused a nuclear meltdown. Radioactive waste spewed into the air, making the area uninhabitable. Twenty years later, humans are still absent, but wildlife is thriving. Native populations of badgers, wild boars, and deer have multiplied, and species that had disappeared before the disaster, like the lynx and eagle owl, have returned in abundance. Birds are even nesting in the steel-and-concrete "sarcophagus" built over the exploded reactor. This is not to say that everything's peachy. There are many problems lingering from the original devastation. I propose to you, Aries, that the situation in Chernobyl is a metaphor for something in your personal life. A place within you that endured a trauma has rebounded surprisingly, though it's still wounded. Take inventory, then raise the ante on the healing process."


that is so dead on it's scary. exactly how i've felt for the past 6 months...

fucking exhausted

been meaning to write 4 different blogs over the past few days...it's been a while...
"mean to tell you all the things i been thinkin' deep inside my friend"
my thoughts are too all over the place tho from lack of sleep and overstimulation.
dave matthews was awesome. many beers, much dancing and singing along to great music peppered with the subplots we invented for the many colorful characters around us...ah i wonder where "slutty", "drunk girl", "pensive girl", "nice tits", "sheep head", and "rolling hard guy" are now....

2 more days...then i can breathe, for two whole weeks.
i'm determined to leave no loose ends behind me.
so i'm all tied up tying things up so i don't come back to fall through a net full of holes.

i'm still too tired and out of it to write anything coherent. so i'll lay in bed again tonight with my disjointed thoughts floating through my half-sleep-haze. where maybe i'll make some sense of them in my dreams. even if i don't remember in the morning....

"it's so subconcious
the way that i feel
too bad my subconcious life
is the more real...

i'm tossing and turning
between sleepless dreams
i'm poised on the edge of
what it all means
so i turn my back
and i spread my arms wide
and i let myself fall in
way deep inside

and i ain't in the best shape
that i've ever been in
but i know where i'm going
and it ain't where i've been"

reading about other peoples trips through Europe makes me miss Italy with a deep ache. That I think it is where I'll go in my dreams tonight. For a little while, when I was there and just after, I dreamt in Italian sometimes. I hit the earth hard when I came back...and for a while, nothing was as good as it was before. Luckily, that passed, but I still always miss it. I carry it around with me, this outline, of this piece of something I found, but that currently is missing. Hmm. That actually is a good way to describe how I feel about a lot of things. I know what I want, and what I need, what and where they are, they just aren't all with in my reach at the moment. The things I want for the present and the future hover in my line of vision, but blurred and illusive, like a mirrage....I guess I'll just have to keep walking.....which I think I'm finally learning to be ok with...I'm picking up a lot along the way.

"i just wanna put down all the pressures
and feel how i really feel
just show me a moment that is mine
it's beauty blinding and unsurpassed
make me forget every moment that went by
and left me so half-hearted
cuz i felt it so half-assed"

=p

my friends reaction to me showing up for work a little before 9 today:

rhi: there is NO way you're at work now. :-)
me: haha, i know i can't believe it either....but, sadly, i am
me: too much to do before i go
rhi: wow
rhi: on top of things today

a little bit later:

annie: cootie!
annie: what time did you get in todya?
me: hey
me: little before 9
me: got lots to do
annie: shut up
me: haha yeah
me: u can ask rhiannon, she imed me something similar
annie: HAHHA great minds...
annie: god and nyja just walked in too [she usually shows up around 11]
me: lol
annie: what the hell is goin on today!??!!


ah they know me so well...it is a small miracle that i actually made it in early as planned. although, when going to bed last night i had it in my head that i'd get up at 7 and be in sometime between 8:00 and 8:30 even. but, when my alarm went off this morning i laughed at my overly ambitious plan and knew it wasn't meant to be as i hit the snooze button every ten minutes for the next hour. considering i usually stroll in in what i like to call the 9:30 cushion (btwn 9:45 and 9:58) showing up at 8:45 is pretty damn impressive.

quote of the day part II

me: it's like 150 degrees out, i'm all sleepy and it's only 10:42 but i bet when it's actually time for bed, i'll be wide awake, and i'm feeling kind of horny.
rhi: aw
me: annnd my tv still isn't working
rhi: that's the real tragdey of the evening...

quote of the day

Annie: Gay boy don't like pussy.

I'd put it in context...but it's hard to explain just that part of the conversation w/o explaining the whole thing...which i'm def not doing. Stands well on it's own anyway. ;)

co-worker crazies

everyone's favorite (sarcasm) line producer

see, i'm not the only one who thinks she's a pain in the ass...


on occasion my boss will also send amusing emails, although as i share an office with her, i usually just get to hear the ranting and name calling of our co-workers first hand. this is what she sent me from the studio last week tho, regarding the only person who is more annoying than Laurie the line producer (oh and the VP, who Lisa affectionately refers to as "dodo bird", there is kind of a resemblance...haha)

"Next, please have marianne killed for me...I've sent at least 4 e-mail writting about the time she used at Teatown...ie why where we billed for 8 hours (when she did it in 4 blah, blah,blah)Little did they know that it looked bad. Even when she not here she is causing trouble...now Laurie and Sandra are involved....
can they get a life please...this is nuts...thanks for letting me vent...there is no one here to vent to. "


On the other side of things, Jenn's recent comment regarding my boss:

Me: I'm not looking fwd to the week before or rt after my vacation. She's gonna be a raving bitch.
Jenn: Yeah well, you may get an email from me saying i'm not here anymore. With out you here as a buffer for that whole time she may push me far enough to give my two weeks.....oh hey speaking of, what was the web site with the reality tv jobs in LA again?

love me some crazies

i'm not sure why i'm so obsessively entertained by the "Mel Gibson is a drunken raving fool" saga....but I am.

how many times can you work "sugartits" into a sentence?





matt: thats my phrase now other people can;t claim it
me: i love it
matt: oh mel...at least hes good for something
me: my endless amusement? that's a good cause
matt: exactly...he certainly wasn;t amusing us with his movies...unless ur into s & m maybe
me: lol




me: i'm a little loopy this morning....
annie: really? i hadn't noticed with that last batch of IMs...




Sugartits is my new favorite word...EVER.....